While competing at the Olympics, she struggled to hold the weight. With the massive weight on her arms her legs crumbled to the ground screaming in agony she felt scared.
Hello my name is israel. I'm from wainui beach school and i am a year six.(10 years old) Today i found your blog on twitter at school by looking at the Manaiakalani Cluster tweet and found yours. So here is a bit of feedback. (Sorry if you can't understand some of the words I used)
I like the visual interpretation of the image and you put in the writing next to the image.
Did you think about maybe adding a bit more detail? I don't know if you would have access and you had to make a painting about it?
Next time, you could add a little extra story like did she win or did she lose.
Also i had a bit of a problem maybe Next time remove the format because all your sentences you writed went of the screen.. Israel
Hello my name is israel. I'm from wainui beach school and i am a year six.(10 years old)
ReplyDeleteToday i found your blog on twitter at school by looking at the Manaiakalani Cluster tweet and found yours. So here is a bit of feedback. (Sorry if you can't understand some of the words I used)
I like the visual interpretation of the image and you put in the writing next to the image.
Did you think about maybe adding a bit more detail? I don't know if you would have access and you had to make a painting about it?
Next time, you could add a little extra story like did she win or did she lose.
Also i had a bit of a problem maybe Next time remove the format because all your sentences you writed went of the screen..
Israel